And yes, February has come, so the word valentines. And it is one of the most hot-button issue elsewhere especially for the SINGLE ladies and gentlemen club out there. And I am part of that club too. *cue music*
I’ve been one of those bitter-ish people who nag couples whenever they are being so sweet in public, hello PDA isn’t so good in the eyes (for us singles) to discern. And I have realized later on that being like that to those couples isn’t a good thing, except if they are too clingy in public.
Right after my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I forgot how it feels to be single. ALONE. ALONE. I could not take that word and have no idea what to do next, particularly on how to mend my broken heart. It aches literally and those tears aren’t stopping + when I hear a love song. UGH!!!
Months and months has passed but still, my mind figuratively is hanging somewhere dark together with my shattered heart. I then distanced myself from the people who are trying to reach me out and make me feel better. “You can’t do anything about it”, I said. Until there’s this one night that I was wandering and an out of the blue question popped up from my mind: “who really am I?” That question disturbed me and I reiterate it to myself…who the fuck really am I NOW. Now that I am lost after the person I loved the most left me hanging. He is such a bullshit, I know right. And at the same time, that question made me had an epiphany to a “somehow”, new life. New chance. New me. NEW.
And that was it, after that realization happened, I reconciled with my friends who I pushed away during the time I was in misery. I told them that what I did was really wrong. The next thing I did: threw the memories I had with him (those sweet notes, stuffed toys, and every single detail that has something to do with him.) I opened myself into watching movies again, reading books and the like. I embraced it little by little, including that state of being single. Until I learnt how to be single. Insert the film: How to be single J *simply because this film helped a lot, hmm.) And it’s true from what the cliché line people say, that if a 365-day is a roller coaster ride, so is love. It is true too that we should love ourselves, and I did. I embraced all my flaws.
Even up to now that I am single, who says I can’t love and be loved?! Hello, I have my family and friends that I am SO grateful to have in my life.
I’ve been in the singles club for such a long period of time, I learnt that after all being single isn’t a bad experience at all. It has given me time to delve into my inner self, to know who I really am and what I really want. And being single is not an issue people, as long as you got your family and friends back. And in time, that right guy will definitely come in my life.